we're chasing vodka with high fives
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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