Soap is not a condiment
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
