put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize