I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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