its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
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