did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
