If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
