at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
