Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
