his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
