And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
