Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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