Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
