turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Randomize
