the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
