Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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