why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
