you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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