What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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