she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize