shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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