We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
