I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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