Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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