Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
