Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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