Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
