it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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