Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize