Well douche your snatch and let's go!
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
