I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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