i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
