It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
