woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We have so much sex to catch up on
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
