No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Randomize