awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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