I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
