Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
