i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
