What a fucking waste of an outfit
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
