I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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