So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
