Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
