Me too!
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
