You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
