My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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