new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
