I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
