ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
