OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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