I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
