Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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