I think i peed on brittanys purse
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
