Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i've created a new STD.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
