this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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