i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
