He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
