guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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