he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize