my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can't turn off my feet"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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