girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
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