How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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