Your face is a jimmy john
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
