You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize