He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
