What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I deserve this hangover.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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