According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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