sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
