I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
