ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
