She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well I just put wine in my tea
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
