i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
