South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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